Hello Jane

(Note: this was not an original idea. *hangs head in shame* I was blog surfing today and happened upon--and stole it from--70x7 so this can be credited to Sarah.)

Dearest Jane,

I know it's been a long time since you and I have talked. I would say it's been around 10 years. You don't remember me do you? Yeah, you were always good at suppressing the past. Though I can't imagine why you'd want to suppress this moment, this year, this you. I'm sure I'll give you a reason to sooner or later, just as I have so many times before. If you can bare with me a little longer--I know how busy you are with your rotations and such--I have a few questions.

1) Did you ever find someone who will sing you to sleep at night? Probably not. I'm sure you're in no rush, but I just never saw you as the type of person to marry when you were older. I'm afraid that if you didn't find it by now, you just never will. If you have found someone, what's he like? Please tell me you didn't settle. I'm so afraid that this pattern of settling will permeate into other aspects of my life. He wouldn't be anything like the one I'm hung up on now, would he? I know you remember him. You never forget a flame. How's T? You don't know? That's for the best, trust me.

2) How was school? Did it kill you or make you stronger? How'd you ever get through calc? Am I going to have to retake this semester? Was it odd being two years older that most people in your graduating class? I'm sorry I fucked up so badly before. But we needed the time off. What's med school like? Did I have the stomach for working with cadavers? I'm sure I did. I must have been fine. Was I?

3) Do you talk to anyone from Cal? Anyone from high school? Is Holly still your best friend? I hope she is because she's closer than anyone to me. I'd hate to lose that over the years, despite the rough patches and the distance. Did she do anything with her life? She's always been so brilliant but tied down by circumstance. I think she's always envied us. I would do anything for her, I hope you would too. Speaking of friends, how's Sara? Is she off on great adventures that you two recount every night?

4) What's it like being a doctor? Is it gratifying? Are you wishing I had chosen a different major? Probably not. That's not like you. I hope it's all worth it--that's all.

Well, you probably have lives to save and a warm bed to go home to--preferably with someone warming it up for you. It was nice. I hope talking to me didn't freak you out too much. I'm part of you though. I hope you've remembered that, no matter how much you've changed or how much better you've become. You were me.

Love Always,
Jane